Bijaya's Blog

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प्रिय मनुज .. माफ गरिदिनु है मलाई ... किनकि म तिम्रो मन्दिरको मुर्ति चोर्न चाहन्छु .. होइन, तिमि गलत सोचिरहेछौ  , ... मैले मुर्तिको बय्पार गर्न खोजेको होइन , न मैले तिम्रो इश्वोर को तिरस्कार नै गरेकी छु . किनकि म आफै पनि इश्वोर्लाई अशिम माया गर्छु तर म तिम्रो मन्दिरको मुर्ति चोरेर .. गंगामा बिसर्जन गर्न चाहन्छु .. कारण तिमीले भूलिसकेउ सायद .. इश्वोर मुर्ति र ढुंगा मा होइन तिम्रो स्वच्छ मनमा हुन्छन र सबैको इश्वोर एउतै हुन्छन फरक यतिमात्र छ कि जुन स्वरुप लाइ माया गरिन्छ उसैलाई नै पुजिन्छ तर पूजा मनको हुनुपर्छ स्वछ कर्मले हुनु पर्छ तेसैले म यो एउटा गलत गरि अरुसबै सच्याउन  चाहन्छु ; सामाजिक भेदभाब र कुसंस्कारहरु तिमीले सुननै पर्छ .. तिम्रो अन्तर आवाज लाई बेस्तता का स्वरहरु भित्र लुकेको शान्ति छामेर .. अनि हरेक असहाय को सारथी बनेर तब मुस्कुराउने छ तिम्रो इश्वोर .. चन्द्रमा को चहक संगै सुर्यको किरण  संगै हरेक निर्दोष आखा हरु मा आस्था बनेर, लाखौ धड्कन हरु मा तिम्रै वरिपरिको प्रेम रुपी संसारमा ....

सेतो कपडा ले बेरेर मन्दिर को सिडीमा एउटा बस्तु राखिएको थियो र म टाडा देखि हेरी रहेकी थिए नियाली रहेकी थिए ,त्यो बस्तु यो सोचमा कि , कुनै सज्जन आएर त्यो बस्तु लान्छ आफुसंग .. किनकि त्यो बस्तु अरु केहि नभएर मेरो छोरा थियो! हो, ऊ मेरो छोरा थियो र म उसको अभागी आमा, करिब ९ महिना सम्म उसलाई आफ्नो कोख म़ा राखेकी छु मैले, उसले म़ा भित्र कोल्टे फेरेर जीबन र जगत हेर्ने चाहना बोकेको थियॊ , महसुस गर्न सक्छु म अझै.. उसको कोमल स्पर्सहरु, मभित्र निदाउदा को उसको नयनोपन .. मेरो कोखमा खेल्दै उसले बुनेका सपनाहरु संसार हेर्ने,, तेसैले उसको चाहनाको हत्या  गर्न सकिन .. तर माफ गरिदिनुहै मलाई, मेरो छोरा , तिम्रो साथ छाडेर जादै छु  म   .. तिमिदेखी टाडा ,धेरै टाडा.. तिमि नरुनु है, किनकि तिम्रो रोदनले मेरा पाइलाहरु , बधिन  सक्छन  र रोकिन पनि त सक्दिन म पक्कै पनि , तिम्रो बालापन हेर्ने चाहना थियो मेरो ... तर अफसोच , म मेरो ममता मरेर जादैछु .. तिमीलाई कुनै येशोदाले भेटोश भन्न आशीस दिएर ... तेसैले मलाई माफ गरिदिनु .. म मेरो बिबस्ताका काडाहरु...

wherever i go...... i carry u within my heart... whatever i may b doing... i carry u within my heart..... in crowd, u remain as peace of my heart.... ... in silence,u beats as rhythm to cheerise... whatever a moon has always meant ..... whatever the twinklinh stars and the sun sing..... it's you my sweetheart.... your love is the controller for every play and pause of my lyfe the truth of the truth..... and the deep of the deepest..... neither the soul can determine nor the mind can calculate...... my love is boundless and it's for you forever.....

Barsaa ka kadkadharu timro preet banera malai chumdaa.. Aatita ka meetha aadale mutu vitra madal ghankai din6... Beyogaka rodan bokee aalik paara sarangi reety deeda... Sangita ka dhwani bokera rhidaya laatha parna khoj6... Ghyaal ta vaisakaike thaee,merai laagi timi susagitt hudaa... Hatayar thayena sathama,khali manda muskan 6aridida... Biraata v ... aera sisira yaam ma,harayeele khojna vautaryedaa... Samjhanaa amar banigaye timile,puspa punja paluwa bi6ayediyeeka... Tadiyeeko 6u timidekhi,samjhanaa mutuvari gadeyaako 6 bujhanaa... Aaunee 6u ekdin farkaeraa timihunee,prityy ka ful chadaunaa... Chahee mahasuus gara ya nagaraa;meeroo pyaro LAMAHI.... Mutuvitra tasbir sachee,oothh ma timrai naam japeerahexu sadhaivaree.........

That day,there was silence around lots of thoughts were going on in my mind everything was falling,I couldn't do anything and I halt for a while but no one was there to see these,feel these maybe its because I didn't say anything or may be its because no one wants to hear me no one was there to understand me so I put a huge smile on my face and walk ahead without saying a word and my goodness everyone think I am that smiling girl the girl who resemble like me act like me,talk like me and smile like me just like me in all but I am not'she' she is quite different ,much courageous she is the one who face all the challenges she has who embrace her the way she is and admire herself the one who fight with every obstacle so I just wish to be like her,totally like her but I can't,I can't I need lots of courage and patience to be like her I am still sleeping someone else awake instead of me I can't wake till now I can't be like me till...

innocent face like the clear sky  my eyes halted into your shining eyes...  like blue ocean deep and deep,as they conjures...  every moment filled with deams and scratch my desires...  the whole universe hug me within yours arms...  a killing smile and love when i gets...  blacky eyebrows stops few second,  and clicks sometimes...  with its hide and seek,steals whatever is mine.. with your presence....  everything around comes to sing and dance..  and the silence too,make a joyful bang....  truly pure like a wish to god...  you are my story that i repeats 24 hrs..  with your stand i find my complete definition ... will god ever make another such creation..  i fell in love with your lovely heart and the eyes...  please don't stop beating, my life dries...

if there were no words to express.. i would still  here you.... if there were no sensation.. i would still feel  you.. for i am no apart from you.. for i m incomplete without you... my life in search of you,flows.. with the  flame of your image.. ignitating my soul..... , enchanting my lonelyness...... that can replace any sangaree,any hypnotizing agents &&  refashion me  with the real me for you are the true meaning of my life.. for you are my angel i asked with god..... with your sparkling appearance carved in my heart.. my trust ,my faith, and love from the bottom of my heart. i lost in u...i live in you..i live in you more....................... yours  fantasy takes me somewhere into the  world out of this busy life,where everything worth it.. && even my unconsciousness smiles............smiles.. dreaming of u,dreaming of you.dreaming of you......... my missing half,my soul mate....

"छोरी मान्छे त धर्ती जस्तै सहन्सील हुनुपर्छ "when I was a kid I didn't used to get these words but now I feel why they told this.a girl starts suffering since from her childhood not because she is biologically backward or has been cheated by nature but because our society has created such circumstances for her.a baby girl is aborted because they believe she can't be a helping member for her family.she is just a source of burden and any expense in her is just useless ..she wil l only be a serving hand for her in laws.and most importantly she can't continue family trend and generation..so she is always treated less than a boy no matter how much she is qualified and hold a degree..this is our society that teaches us to worship and believe in god and goddess but forget to give respect to a women.a women who always shower care and affection to everyone with her kind heart to make everyone happy is told she belongs to nowhere..she doesn't have her own ...

Before you leave me N  N I am hidden into the ground cheers with me  till I have beats and breath... all I need to live is only u"life" when only darkness resides in eyes in restless,sleepless night n I wanna scream aloud when I find no peace no more courage to hold me oh dear life just sing a mirthful song for me.. breaking the silence.. n hold me tight.. I wanna fall for you forgetting the rest.. no matter if I go insane i know there is a different pleasent in that.. so be there for me everything that bothers will fade one day I know u have strength to heal any pain and u know well I have kept all my dreams safely,collected my hope. so fill my zenith with some bright stars.. fill my land with beautiness n laughter enamour me with all limit u can;then I will live a little more smile a bit more with u and one day when my hair turns white only I would find is beautiness, looking back with melodious me...

she is  a little  bit crazy,she is a little bit of a mess privy to universe secret , she will never confess she is a little bit golden , a little bit summertime green. other realms and portals she lingers in  between, a gypsy soul half sun rays ,the other half the moon, her heart beats echo sternal , singing a haunting tune